Tuesday, March 1, 2011

20110301 - Determination

As soon as I sent out the invitation letter to view my blog, I started to worry. This morning was even worse. I woke up with so many WHAT IFs. This happens to me all the time. I am very confident at one moment, shortly after I execute my decision I start to find things to doubt myself. What makes worse is I am the one always appears to be optimistic and cheerful. I am going to take moment to explain, not that I don’t worry or get nervous, only just my awareness takes charge fairly quickly. Oh my, I can’t even remember the humor I come up to easy my mind that I thought was great to share.

Now I remember.

As I was taking a shower (for some reason I picked soap of determination this morning), covered with bubbles and drown with concerns, I thought about paintings. Nothing specific, but paintings of females that once caught my eyes when I leisurely walking through the museums in the past, somehow, they all came back this morning. There, I was drawn deeply to artists’ profound abilities of communicating the emotions of the models through their painting tools, not realizing some of the models were probably 100 lbs +/- over weight comparing to today’s standard.

Hope you are laughing now, but seriously, then, I did not complain about how the models looked in the paintings.  What I saw was the allure and the grace that continue to emitting from the paintings throughout the exhibition quarters hundreds years later.

I came back to serenity. Regardless how perfect I want to ensure my work is faultless, the fact is, it is already perfect. At the moment I have determination to put my heart into it, it is a piece of master me.

To all people who concern about their body and their external beauty, your determination of who you are is already within.

With love,


  1. This is comment from Petti via e-mail. I copied and pasted here.

    Amy--this is a lovely gesture and I am a lover of these paintings also--loved your journal piece. I couldn't figure out how to post a response so I emailed instead. You are so special!
    Shanti, Patti

  2. This comment is from Dana. I copied and pasted.

    "I love reading it! The shower, the art, the curves on the women... Self acceptance. The soap of determination. Ect

    ~ Dana "



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